The Games Change You 51th Annual Hunger Games
by CassmyAss
Summary: Artemis Moorder, so young only sixteen. They said that she was born with a gift of strength and bravery. Her green eyes sparked in the sun when she spent hours hunting in the woods of District 12 with a small set of throwing daggers. She hid away waiting for her pray to wonder into her sights. What will happen to this tall brave girl as she embarks on her worst journey so far
1. Chapter 1 Seam

I wake in my small bed surrounded by ice cold sheets that we used to block out the winter chill. Which today had close to no affect. My body shakes as I crawl out of the thin cocoon of aging cotton. Stifling a groan I turn to see where my sister has gone so early this morning. I place my bare feet onto the plan wood panel flooring of my family's small cottage house, The floor was moist from the morning drew that makes it's way through the light ceiling. I hear a small crash coming from the kitchen and know who it had to be at only a quarter to dawn today. She always cleans when she is nervous. She had a good point to be, Today is the day of the reaping for the 51st annual Hunger Games.  
I walk to her silently, I try to calm her by whispering her name.

"Dyah"

She shakes her head and quickly finishes cleaning the counter tops. We are only two years apart, she was seventeen now but will be eighteen soon. Then when she is eighteen she will never have to worry about the reaping again. Her life will not be as hectic she can get a job and find a nice miner to marry. We live in Panem, it is a country controlled by the Capitol and supplied by the 12 Districts. My family happens to lives in District 12, one of the poorest Districts in Panem. My sister and I are almost compete opposites she always stays out of fights, always weak, and well-mannered. While I was hot-headed, and always wiping every sign of emotion off of my face before stepping out side each day so I wouldn't have to face the pity of Rich men and women, telling me that life will get better. Sure, when. Right now all I see is young kids, my school friends that were only 13, being thrown into an arena to fight for their lives, for some sick freaks entertainment. I could rant on and on in my mind, but I could never say these things out loud without worry for my health and my family's. I could never stop this torture anyways I am just a small poor girl in a small poor District. I am nothing. The Capitol makes this clear every year on this day.

My fist clench as I watch my sister scrub pans with tired boney fingers, tears shinning in the dull sun light.

"Dy, Answer me," She shakes her head as her brown hair falls into her eyes. "I know this is hard on you, but you are not the only ones, please, stop crying. I don't want to be alone" She turns to me her red puffy eyes sad, her jaw shaking with fear. She then turns choosing to ignore me "Never mind" I shout as I walk out the front door. I hear her call.

"Artemis, I'm sorry, Where are you going, mother doesn't like you leaving on reaping days" but I am already walking.

That is just like her to shut down when she's scared, to stop functioning and start behaving like some kind of brain washed mutation. On these days I feel as if I have to face it alone, at 1 o'clock today our entire District will be rounded up into the square. Where we wait for one boy and one girl over the age of twelve to be sent to their deaths. They do this every year to show us that we are completely at their mercy, Look how we take your children and make then kill each other for fun. Sick.  
I make my way to the large electric gate that runs alone our District, which is nicknamed the 'Seam', My father who now works as a miner in the District mines would take us out her every Saturday, he made a cut in the gate so we could get through easier. He taught us how to survive. Which berries are editable, which are not. When Dyah was ten and I was eight he taught us to hunt. Dy was too scared to hurt the animals but I was just heartless enough to supply for my family of five, Me, my sister Dy, my little brother Toby who is only the age of eight, and my mother and father.

Hunting is fun, at first my father tried to teach me to shoot a bow and arrow. I had perfect dead accuracy but lacked the muscle to pull back and aim the bow. So he gave me a small set of silver throwing knives. I use these knives for all of my hunts, I learned quickly that the faster the throw and more accurate the shot the less often you lose your knifes in a tree of animal. I had ten knifes when I started and I now only have eight, I lost on in a tree when I was 9, the other in a buck's eye just about a month ago.

Dyah and mother never understood that I need to hunt so that our family would not die of starvation. So I never told them that this is how I get the food and money to support them. I make my way over to a hollow rock and find my belt of knives. I feel safer with them in my hands, as if they were a part of me. I start to walk keeping a small quite hunters tread, one foot at a time. I spot a tree rustle and I hear a small squeak. The sound of my knife cut through the air penetrating into the small rabbit's eye.

"Perfect" I whisper reaching out to grab it when an arrow wises by my head and I am thrown back. Elizabeth stepped from behind a tall oak tree laughing.

"You should have seen your face" She giggled, walking over to take out the arrow that had almost went throw my head.

Elizabeth is my best friend, Her father is the town black smith. She lives in a family of four, Her, and her two older brothers Steven and Rayn. She isn't as poor as my family is but she is still struggling. Her and my father are good friends, and he is who the District people get their weapons, for a fair price. He doesn't have many buyers but that's because only a few people know how to hunt and Liz is almost as talented as I am. She uses a bow and arrow, It is an older idem pasted down to her from her grandfather but it is still in great shape, and so is she. Elizabeth is a tall girl with light blonde hair and reflective blue eyes. Her black trousers and white cotton pullover hides her muscular arms from her work with her father and how she pulls back the bow like it nothing.

I throw my knife at her and it catches he white shirt by the sleeve and pins it to the bark of the tree. She smiles as she pulls out the knife, "I still don't get how you can do that?" she shouts I let out a sarcastic laugh. We hunt and gather, I got four rabbits and a squirrel Liz got three wild turkeys and a squirrel, she was always better at flying and climbing animals with her bow. As the day draws closer to the reaping we make our way back to the fence when we hear a loud crunch come from behind us I raise my knife and she loads her bow both focused on the bush which the sound was made.

"Don't fire, It's me"

I hear a voice say, Rayn, Elizabeth older brother popped his head out his dark brown hair hung just above his dark brown eyes. "I'm just here to tell you that dads looking for you at the shop," He turns and nods to me, "Hey Artemis" Rayn walked out of the forest into the District, I feel my face turn into a blush. I have always had a small crush on Rayn, he was so handsome, his arms always looked toned from the black smith work. To bad he was eighteen already, and I was still sixteen, Damn.

"I saw that" Liz pokes me, she knew I liked him, ever since we were little.

"You didn't see anything"

I joke as she pushes me. I quickly hide my knives and belt in the tree and watch as she does the same. We say our good byes as I make may way to the Hob, or the black market here. I trade the meat to Greasy Sae for a ball of yarn, a hand full of hair pins, and a bar of soap. She makes me a quick bowl of soup to go for my siblings and I to share. I say thank you and return home with a rabbit and squirrel, that will be good for soup later.

I enter the house to my Mother yelling

"ARTEMIS HEATHER MOORDER" I know she's mad when my full name is used.

"Yes, MOTHER" I scream with a smirk and a nice voice.

She then told me to get changed and hurry because I am late. I place the food on the table ignoring my mothers questions to where I got it. I walked up to the bathroom and washed my pale body of every last speck of dirt from the woods, leaving nothing that is truly me. My long dark brown hair is in tangles as I comb through it. The cracked mirror on the wall across from my parents bedroom shows a tall skinny girl with bright green eyes, her long dark hair hugging her shoulders. I realize that I am staring and turn away.

I dress in a light gown that must have been my mothers before, then it most likely went to Dyah, and now its mine. It was a light pink number with a white sash. It falls loosely to my knees. My mother always wanted us to look presentable when we went to the reaping.

"You look stunning" She waited in the doorway running and embraces me in a tight hug.

"Mom what's wrong" I say wiping a fallen tear on her cheek. She then pulls me closer. I hear her sigh as she let go.

"I just don't want to lose you" she mumbles

"I love you" she smiles and I take her hands in mine, we walk out to meet my father. He as most of the other adults in our District works at the mines. We are the mining District that is our main job in this world.

I watch my mother pace as we wait for Dyah and Toby before walking out to the town square. Dyah soon emerges from the small bedroom we share in a light yellow thin strap dress showing off her thin arms. She smiles at me and hugs my mother tightly.

"It's okay mom, Me and Artemis will be fine just take care of Toby" She tries to comfort our mother. She always favored our mother when I always went to my father. When I finally get the changes I embrace him and try to hold in the anxious tears.

"Dad I promise that if I'm called..."

He stops me and shakes his head, Then he speaks in a low voice looking me right in the eyes.

"Art you must not say things like that, nothing will happen." He pushes a strand of loose hair behind my ear, I need to finish what I was saying so I shake my head and grab his hand.

"Listen to me, Dad, I promise that if I am called I will win, I will bring back the money and pride that our District needs." I smile and hug him again. "You will be proud of me when I move us into the victor village" I feel his grip loosen on me and he pushes me lightly from him so that we are again looking straight into each others eyes.

"No I am proud of you now, If you are to be entered you will not be the same little sixteen year old girl who went in. In that arena everything changes. You would be better off to die with dignity in there then come back her and be haunted with the memories and pain of the games." He spoke as if he knew.

If I were to go in I would not go down, I don't give up without a fight. But for his sake I just smile and nod.

"Yes dad"

I walk to the square at exactly one o'clock and line up with the other sixteen years old, I search the crowds for Dy and find her in the seventeen year old section. I smile and she just nods. She was nervous I don't blame her though, she has a right to show emotions although I didn't.

"ART!"

I hear across the crowd and then I and embraced in a hug by Elizabeth, in her light blue sundress that she wore almost every reaping day. I could tell she was scared so I gently smile at her and fix her always messy hair. Elizabeth's mother died years ago, the doctors all said that it was a type of blood infection. This was when she was only five, Being raised with only her father and brother she had always be a little tomboyish.

I was about to ask Elizabeth where Rayn was but I was interrupted by a Capitol women with pink hair and a light blue jumpsuit and a yellow tutu walked on stage, she was new I have never seen her before. She had to be still in her late teenage years, eighteen maybe.

"Welcome, Welcome. To the 51st annual Hunger Games, I will be your new escort, My name is Effie Trinket, Happy Hunger Games and may the odds be ever in your favor." Her Capitol ascent is horrible, It always sounded so outrages to us but there in the Capitol it must sound normal. "Before I pick the Tributes, I have a film brought to you all the way from the Capitol" The video is the same every year. War, terrible War, we get it. It's the reason they take two children away from their families and watch them fright to the death on live television. Sick. When the video is finally over Miss Trinket makes her way over to the large glass bowl full of all of our Districts children's names. In that bowl my name is entered a total of thirty-five times from all the tesserae that I have taken for my family of five for five years.

Effie then turns and addresses the crowd "Now for the Ladies" I feel Elizabeth's hand grip my shoulder when she finally pulls out the unlucky tributes name.

"Artemis Moorder"


	2. Chapter 2 Good-byes

My heart stops, Me, That's me. At that moment millions of things are running through my head but one thing that rings true the loudest is my promise to my father. I will win.

"Art?" I hear Elizabeth's strangled cry as I stand speechless. I turn to her and see that she is crying. I start to walk slowly on stage my knees feel weak as I make my way up the steps of the justice building. Effie offers me an extended hand and I ignore it, I walk up on the stage and stare at my District. The hills I climb with Elizabeth everyday, The hob, even my little cottage home. I am going to miss it all, but then I remembered that I promised my father that I will come back and I will move my family into the victor village. I raise my head high and try to look confident. I have a feeling it was to no use.

"Yes, Yes. Miss Artemis Moorder. Aren't you just the prettiest little thing. Anyways on to the boys" She makes her way over to the other side of the stage. "Brighten Heleni"

I know that name, He is in my year in school. I watch as a boy with bright blue eyes and dark hair makes his way on to the stage. I see the utter fear in his eyes when Effie tells us to shake hands I take his extended hand and apply a tight squeeze to show that I care. He mouths the words "Thank you" and we are escorted into the room where we are to say good-bye to our families.

First to visit me came my mother and father carrying Toby who ran to me and hugged me begging me not to go.  
"Hey, Toby it's okay, we're going to be okay." I smile, pushing back his copper hair so It fall back behind his ears.

"Don't go Arty, I thought you were going to show me how to hunt next year." His eyes were full of shimmering tears as he played with my hair that hung down by my shoulders.

"I love you, Okay, just know that and if you ask really nice I bet you that Elizabeth will teach you how to shoot a bow and arrow. Maybe daddy can teach you how to weald a knife. He taught me when I was just a little older than you." I kiss him on the cheek, and turn to my father who picks Toby off my lap and walks to the other side of the large couch. He gave me a pitied look before returning to my crying mothers side.

I couldn't take the burning in my eyes I made a small choking sound and feel the burning hot trail that the tears made as they fell into my lap. My mother cried and embrace me, but my father couldn't even look me in the eye. He knew my plan to win, I must become a cold-blooded killer. I will too, I will kill and not fell the guilt. Those games are nothing but a popularity contest. All of those other desperate kids trying to show of to the capitol. Thinking it's all about their appearance, no it's all about skill. Being able to kill. They are all weak I am to be strong, I will be the unlikely career. They will invite me to join them I will show my skill and when they are sleeping I will slit each and every one of their throats. I will relish in the thought of their blood, I will smile to the Capitol as I throw my knife into a child's back. They will love me. The thought is sickening but It is my best shot at winning. Become a murderer, I must make everyone including my family believe me. The Games change everyone, even me.

My mother tries to talk to me but I stare down at my feet, trying hard to stay strong. When the peacekeeper makes his way over to them telling them that the time is up I look up at them. I give them my best smirk and shout with a small amount of joy.

"I will Win"

I throw my arms around my mother and whisper that I love her. My father, the man who taught me to kill, just shook his head and left without a word leaving me to my thoughts of death coming so near. I throw my head into the wall and start to scream, It came out low and angry almost as if I was some pained animal. A beast, I will become that in just a mater of weeks. I am no longer Artemis Moorder, The little girl who hunted to feed her family but Artemis the girl from 12, Who could kill a child with a smile and a flick of a knife. I will be nothing but another blood thirsty victor with blood lust in full, the taste of the blood is the disease that makes me the monsters I am to be known to be, it is what wipes away the last of my humanity. It will Wipe away all that is left of me.

I throw my fists into the velvet pillow to my right until the feather stuffing had exploded everywhere. No more tears will escape my ears today, or maybe ever. I promised my self this but as that door opened and I saw my big sister I felt something snap and I couldn't help reach out to her as I used to when I was small, want her to hold me, to comfort me.

"Dyah..." I sob, "I don't want to die, I want to stay." I hiccup as She sits next to me and holds me making coos and soothing sounds, so much for not shedding anymore tears.

"You're not going to die, you can win stay strong, you are my tough little sister. Always looking for a fight, Nothing stops you." she embraces me tight. My breathing is uneven and I can seem to stop the tears.

"Can you tell dad that, I love him and that I have to win it's not his fault" She nods and kisses my forehead, then she wipes my cheeks. We sit there for the remaining time not saying a word. When the peacekeeper makes his way in I say goodbye for the last time and watch as her brown hair flies threw the door. I close my eyes and wait. Elizabeth was next.

"Artemis, I'm so sorry" she mumbles in my hair as she hangs on my shoulders, I wanted to tell her that I will miss her that I most likely wouldn't come back but I have to be strong.

"I'm Fine, Honesty," I tell her smiling. "You know all my skills, I can easy take down anyone in a fight" I smirk at her, Elizabeth nods and sits down next to me.

"If you are so sure you are going to win, then Bring me this back in three weeks." She pushes my hair back and wraps her arms around me, she pulls back and I look down at the small golden pendent that she had fastened to my neck. It had to be real gold, this small gift was more expensive than my entire wardrobe.

"It was my mothers" Elizabeth straightens it out. "Throw Straight, Art." She hugs me once more and then she walks out, leaving me alone once more. I look down at the necklace and turn it in my fingers. It was a gold-plated target on a golden chain. It was My best friend mothers, who die when she was only a child, now its mine, for when I die when I am only a child. Ironic. Now my friends and family will have to deal with loosing me also. They don't deserve this.

I am still trapped in my thoughts as I hear shouting from behind the large door.

"Please, I have to see her"

I hear a deep voice yell. I open the door just an inch and see a peacekeeper holding back a young man his brown hair seeming to barely block out his dark eyes, he was also shouting.

Who was that, Then it clicks the hair, the eyes It could only be one person. Rayn I feel the blood rush to my face as the door is forced closed. I hear Rayn beg again and the another man sigh.

"Fine but only for a few minutes." I hear Rayn thank him and then the door, opens fast. I look up at him and he smiles shyly down at me.

"Hey" I say as I stand from the couch, I find myself being pulled into a hug. I feel his hands on my waist as I wrap my arms around his neck, he was taller than me, only by a few inches but as I feel him grip me tighter I notice how well our bodies fit together. The way his muscular arms hold me against his cotton shirt, and how perfectly my head fits on his shoulder. Everything was perfect but for only a second before I was whipped right back into reality. I feel his touch as his thumb wipes a single tear off of my cheek.

"You're coming back." He smiles at me as he take my hand in his. "Oh, I forgot to tell you how beautiful you look in you dress this morning" I see the small smirk that played on his lips.

"Thank you, Well I guess you should be able to do that at lease on more time." I feel my stomach turn as I look back up at him and see that he is frowning down at me.

"Don't say that, you're going to win because I don't know anyone more talented or driven as you are when it comes to a competition," He smiles down at me making the sick feeling in my stomach grow and a shiver running up my back. "Oh and don't tell Lizzy I said that, okay."

I nod and see that his eyes were looking down. I feel him run his thumb just under my bottom lip. I keep my eyes locked on his as he leans his head down his lips lightly brushing over mine. As soon as his lips place a small touch of pressure on my lips a shock runs through my body and my eyes close. I feel him pull me closer, his hands resting on my hips as my arms wrap around his neck, my hands finding their way into his long brown hair. I feel as if we were on fire. I was drowning in his arms, Forget all my troubles for just a short time. The feeling of his lips on mine was perfect. I have always imaged my first kiss millions of times but nothing compared to this. Of course I would have wanted it to be on a better occasion, but I'm here now with the boy I have had a crush on forever and he kissed me. I always wanted to have a boyfriend, even if it's only for another week or two. I feel a tear run down my cheek, we pull apart and I see that he has tears in his eyes too.  
I wipe the tear from his cheeks and he smiles at me. I feel my cheeks flush.

"I think their coming." He was right I turn and the door opens. A peacekeeper steps in.

"Come with me Miss Moorder"

A man in uniform pulls my arm away from Rayn as I am led out the back door. I turn back to see Rayn being released from the small room.

"You can do this" Was the last thing I hear before the door is closed between us and I am forced into a motorized carriage they call a car.

I have never been in a carriage much less a car, but the noise and movement is soothing to me. Helping me forget all the events of today. I lean my head back and take a deep breath. He Kissed me My best friends brother kissed me. I finally get him to like me and I'm reaped into this years Hunger Games. It's almost Ironic how badly this worked out. I smirk to myself, holding in the sobs that are held up in my throat. When I finally realized that the car had stop moving I turn my head and watch as Effie steps out of the car. When I turn to climb out of the car I find that I am staring right into Brighten's blue eyes. I see the hurt and anger, not only that but the determination to get home. I start to hate him because I feel for him but at the same time I despise the fact that I will have kill him to see my family again.

"I'm sorry" I whisper to him, he smiles at me and nods reaching out to offer me a hand to pull myself out of the car.

"Why? Are you planning on killing me" he smiles at me, I smirk, as I take his hand helping me lift myself gracefully out of the car. I know what he's doing. Trying to play nice before I have to kill him.

"Not if I don't have too" I answer, leaving him in the car as I make my way to Effie at the loading platform.

"Artemis, Brighten" I hear Effie's Ascent from the train. "Come meet your Mentor" I know him, Haymitch. I went to school with him, he was one year older and every girl wanted him. He was attractive I give him that, but he was also arrogant and cocky. Not my type. I smile as I think about Rayn and wave to the prospectors as I make my way to meet Haymitch. Holding in the urge to jump at the reporters and old men that bet on what time each of us are going to die ever year, and tear out each and every one of their throats.

Effie walks us into the train and I am blown away by the interior, crystal, chrome, Mahogany tables. I smile as I reach out and take a roll of the counter, Its warm. I take a bite as the sugar icing melts in my mouth. There is more food here then in my whole District. I see Brighten smile at me and I nod handing him one of the rolls. He gives me a wink and turns to see a young boy sitting on the bench eating strawberries. Effie coughs to get his attention.

"Artemis, Brighten. This is Haymitch your mentor"

She grins wide before wishing us luck and walking off to who know where.  
"I am so sorry this happened to you, Artemis is it. Oh and you must be Brighten" Haymitch approaches us and shakes our hands. He smiled at me and I feel a warmth spread in my chest. "Have we meet." I smile hiding a small blush, before answering

"We went to school together, I'm sixteen" He remembered me, Why? I don't think I have never spoken to the guy.

"Well, why don't you go and get all cleaned up of dinner" Haymitch was nice, not as arrogant as I thought and he did say he was sorry, obviously he gets that we might die next week. I can't seem to forget that. I make my way to my apartment. It was breathtaking all the rich sheets and the fancy soaps. The showers were amazing, It was like hot rain cascading down my back. I felt so much more relaxed when I finally join Haymitch and Brighten in the dinner car.


	3. Chapter 3 Train

I am ushered over to the table by Effie as a dark hair male avox places large portions of food on to my plate. I thank him with a smile as I eat. Haymitch starts to talk with Brighten about his time in the Quarter Quill. As he goes on about how he tricked the girl from one into throw an ax at the force field, I get lost in my thoughts. I know that I shouldn't be but I am scared of the avox man. He was a traitor that was punished, by the Capitol cutting out his tongue. What did he do? What would possibly make someone so mad that they mutilated your tongue so that you were forced into slavery. More and more one thought pushes itself into my head repeatedly. The Capitol is nothing but hell disguised as heaven,but I have come to the concussion that there is no heaven or hell just now and all the Demons are walking among us here. I was raised in a highly spiritual family, who wasn't when you live with such torture as the Hunger Games we needed all the help you can get. Sometimes I would overhear my mother pray for my sister and I, that's what you get when your house is as small as ours. She was praying that she would see us grow old and marry. I never thought this would happen to me, being here going to the Capitol. I can't help but think about Elizabeth and Rayn and how that was the last time I will see them. I never even got to say good-bye to Rayn.

"Artemis are you listening to him," Effie shouts into my ear "He's trying to help you,Please, your manors are hideous" She sips her large glass of what looks to be a flavor alcohol. I shot her my best glare before I realized that in my hand I held tight on a black and sliver handled stake knife. I begin to think about my plan, becoming the cold blooded killer that the Capitol wants. Effie will be my first trial of the new me.

"I'm sorry Effie, I to busy focusing on the many ways that I want to kill you" I begin to flip the knife in my right hand. I pick up speed and then spin the blade through each of my fingers before holding the handle blade down and stabbing the table with all of my might. The blade stinking into the wood about three inches. I keep my eyes lock onto hers. The fear is immediate, it makes me smirk. Did I really just threatened my escort? I hear a chuckle and turn my head glaring at Haymitch as he eats a bit of cheese. "What?" I shout and feel Brighten flinch in his seat next to me, I must be scaring him too. I don't mean to though, I like him he's nice to me. Haymitch continues to laugh. I reach for the knife but Effie had removed it.

I look around to find another, Elizabeth always said I was fast when I was hunting, It's like everything feels as if time was slowing down I could hunt for what felt like hours and then I find that I was only gone for half and hour. Maybe I was fast because by the time I had found the knife Brighten had just got from his seat to grip my throwing arm. He was to late the blade pasted out of my hand and straight at Haymitch. He didn't even flinch when the blade went into the painting above his head.

Just where I wanted it, I never miss. Maybe it's better that they learn this sooner then later. I scream as Brighten tackles me down to the ground pining my arms over my head.

"Stop it. Calm Down. You have to Calm down" Brighten shouted to me as I tried to push him off. I struggle and kick, but Damn Brighten's strong. Haymitch pulls Brighten off before helping me up, I was surprised that he did this. I mean I did just try to kill him.

"I want to have a talk to . Brighten, Effie you should be heading to bed soon." I think I know what he's going to say, but hey, the new me doesn't care about anything especially a Capitol idiot. Brighten releases my arm, I glare at him as he is lead out of the room by Effie who's wig was leaning slightly to the left. I looked up to Haymitch as he pushes me down into a chair. I smirk as I think of my best comeback.

"So what you going to yell, get pushy, punish me by sending me to my room. Because Last time I checked In one weeks time I'm going to be sent into a arena to fight for my life and most likely I'm not going to make it out, nothing you say or do to me will stop the anger I have for you, for that little porcelain doll in there, to me this is all just one big fancy prison cell and I'm waiting for execution!" I shout with tears streaming down my face. Forcing my voice to crack I finally told some one how I feel and I thought It would feel good but It just added to my stress. I cover my mouth to muffle a sob as I wipe the tears from my cheeks.

I feel like I should apologize to Effie, to Brighten, even Haymitch to tell them that I really never wanted to hurt them, but I can't seem to bring myself to stop crying. Haymitch sits and watches me cry with that pitiful look in his eye. This angers me more knowing that he's treating me like some small child that wants to go home. I'm stronger then this.

I am Artemis Moorder, soon to be Victor of the 51st annual Hunger Games. I wipe away a lone tear and sit straighter breathing in rhythm to calm the sobs I am holding back. Haymitch sighs looking me in the eyes. His are so interesting, a dark blue filled with guilt and remorse. That must be what it's like to kill. Carrying that around with you for years. I make a failed attempted to smile as he speaks.

"Artemis, all I want to tell you is to keep that Career image but I would like it if you kept it to the Capitols eyes only," Haymitch mutters as he wipes a fallen tear with his thumb. Then he adds "Oh, and apologize to Effie, she hates bad manners" I nod and smile.

"I'm Fine, can I just go to bed now?" I say no louder then a whisper but he gets it, and nods. I stand and run to my room. I went to my room and sit on my bed the large Television on the other wall was turned on as I entered. It was showing the Reapings starting with District 1. They started with the girls first, They man that must have been their escort reached into the glass and pulled out a name. "Freya Horrid" He shouts and a young girl with light brown hair and dark eyes makes her way from the 12 year old section. Then a tall girl dressed in a sky blue floral sundress shout to volunteer. The little girl looked surprised. Not because someone had volunteered for her that happens all the time, but who had. She seemed to know the tall blonde girl coming from the 17 year old section. The crowd clapped and cheered. "What is your name dear" The girl smiled. "Thalia knight" The girl spoke with certainty. She was definitely a Career.

The boy was also a Volunteer, he was big with a muscular build. Light hair and Light eyes. Not that uncommon there in 1 they're population was mostly blonde with light eyes. In 12 most of us had seam hair and eyes, Dark hair and grey eyes. When I was born people would stop my mother and tell her that I would grow up to be beautiful because of my green eyes. I turn my attention back to the TV and see District 2, a tall dark hair boy no younger then 18 and a tall skinny girl with bulky shoulders her dark eyes have a almost deadly shine to them. Next was 3, nothing knew two scared kids. 4 didn't have a volunteer but they did get a tall red haired girl that look like she may be able to deal some damage. 5 through 11 were the same nothing that interesting.

Mostly scared teenagers that are much to young to die and sadly by my hands. Then It was 12 I see our Justice building and young Effie Trinket Pulls my name and I watch as I walk from my space next to Elizabeth and walk on stage. I see Brighten get called and when I take his hand I just barely see him whisper 'Thank you'. Then it's over and the game maker comes up on stage talking to Caesar Flickerman,who's hair this time is a light violet, about us. I take a breath before reaching to turn off the TV and go to bed.

I spend that night on the train lying in the large bed rolled in the rich comforter imaging the kill. I play it though my head over and over again. Killing as if I was hunting a animal. Tracking, stalking, waiting for innocent prey to make the mistake of letting their guard down for only a minute. I have thought of the blood lust before as a sickness. What if it isn't a sickness but an addiction? What if I can't stop, what if I kill them all. Then I win. No, then I loose everything bit of humanity I have left.

I feel as If the train was speeding in circles and everything is spinning. I feel as my stomach is turning violently. I quickly sit up, covered in a cold sweat. My heart is racing faster then humanly possibly. I'm going to die, Here and now before I even entering the games. I run to the bathroom and look in the large mirror. I see a girl, her dark hair is tangled and a mess tears spilling onto her pale cheeks. Her green eyes dark and hollow. That girl is not me, it can't be. I let out a terrible scream and throw my fist into the girl hoping for her to just go away. I scream again when I feel the tiny fragments of glass cutting into my hand. I sink to the floor and cry, I have had panic attacks before but this was different. I am sure I am going to die maybe not now but soon. I hear the sounds of Haymitch and the others coming from outside my room.

Blood, it's everywhere. Drops rolled down my arms, some even made their way onto my face. I watch the crimson stained sink where the broken mirror pieces lay as the blood drips on to the tiled ground. Oddly I find the color enchanting almost beautiful as the light reflects off the dark red drops. This seemed to relax me a bit as Haymitch was first to run in. His face shocked as he shouted to a female avox to get the first aid box. I stare into his sad blue eyes.

"Are you going to be okay, Sweetheart?" He asks.

I nod and choke out a sad "Fine". He kneels down next to me taking my blood covered hand in his. He examines it before he carefully starts pulling chunks of glass out of my hand. The glass looks more like rubies now that they are covered in my blood.

"Haymitch, I don't want to die" I whisper to him, he shakes his head hastily.

"Don't do that, don't make it seem less then what it is. Next week I will enter the arena and I'm not like you I can't win." I sob as he reaches for a towel to wipe at the blood.

"You're right, you're not like me. You're better the only way you'll not win is if you don't try." He smiles at me. Then he added "Oh and If you could down play your knife skills a little for the training you should but, let face it, You're a show off." I laugh but it turns to a then wince as he removes a inch of glass out of my hand.

I look out to see Brighten and Effie running in with the Avox holding a red box. Haymitch thanks her and then sends her away asking if she could clean the room after he is done. She nods politely than walks away, Brighten walks in and looks down at me. I felt the need to say something after what happened at dinner, to Effie too.

"I'm sorry" I sigh and I watch a smirk appears on his face.

When he responds "Why? You planning on killing me?" I laugh,

He smiles and kneels down taking a towel off the wall and daps at a stain on the floor.

"Not If I don't have too." I sigh.

It's a sick joke but It's true. I wouldn't kill Brighten If I didn't have too.

I guess It's easier to joke about it then really talk about it.


End file.
